Chicken Noodle Soup for the Superhero's Soul
by The Vernaculist
Summary: A compilation of cute, clever, and funny one-shots starring Batman and Robin (with a guest star hero in almost every one). I originally made them for a physics assignment where I had to include physics-related words into a story, so some of the language is a little weird, but good nonetheless. Let's see how many people understand the physics stuff, eh?
1. Transformers Aren't Superheroes

_Sunday, March 17__th__ at exactly 23:00 hours, I Batman, successfully found and disarmed all the bombs set to go off throughout Gotham City. After rendering the city safe from the firearms I attempted to stop my opponent, Deathstroke, before he reached his next destination of Wayne Manor. After a short period of time, approximately 46 seconds, our battle ended with the escape of Deathstroke and my sustaining injuries (see health file). Before Deathstroke was able to complete his terrorist attack on Wayne Manor, he was incapacitated and captured by a large, metal robot seeming to be of alien origin. At this point I know little about the subject of question, but my research on the machine will continue until I am able to rid Gotham of its presence._

Batman leaned back into his bat-chair, cracking his bat-knuckles and allowing his bat-eyes to drift from the bat-computer screen they had been glued to (presumably with bat-glue). "The only vigilante in this city is me." He muttered while removing his cowl. "Besides, that machine hardly qualifies as a superhero." He shifted his chair to close the _distance_ between himself and the large computer in from of him and rested his hands on the keyboard, preparing a new file.

_ Unidentified, extraterrestrial robot; roughly 25 feet tall; clocked moving at speeds over 70 mph-_

"BRUUUUUCE!" Batman jumped at the sound of his alto-ego being called.

"Bruce did you hear?!" he turned around in his chair just in time to see Robin, not-so-commonly known as Richard "Dick" Grayson, come tumbling through the Batcave – flipping every which way with increasing acceleration before performing one last impressive trick and landing on the back of Batman's chair.

"Did you hear the news?" Batman came face-to-face with the upside-down pair of blue eyes of his son and ward.

"Dick, you're supposed to be in bed." He replied while standing up, wincing as every small movement brought up another of the day's injuries.

"I was watching the 12 o'clock news." Robin declared nonchalantly. "Did you hear about the Transformer?!"

"The what?"

"The Transformer! It's a giant robot from outer space that beat the pulp out of Deathstroke earlier today. Or was it yesterday? What time is it?"

"It's time for you to go back to bed." Batman began ushering Richard out of the cave, ignoring his protests and blocking out all the excuses spewing out of his son's mouth.

"But people say that the Transformer is Gotham's new superhero!" Batman stopped short, his velocity going from 7 to 0 m/s in an instant. Were people really naïve enough to think that machine was on par with Earth's superheroes? With himself? He's the freaking Batman for crying out loud! Disregarding all the obscenities running through his mind too emotional for Batman and too inappropriate for Bruce, the black clad hero turned around and made his way back to his computer.

"That 'Transformer' is no superhero." Batman remarked halfway to his destination.

"Why not?"

"Because he's a machine. A machine can't be a vigilante."

"Red Tornado is a machine and he's a vigilante."

"That's different. Red Tornado is an almost human android capable of summoning winds powerful enough to wipe out an island. The Transformer is nothing but a glorified toaster that can step on things."

"He can turn into a car too."

"Well if I ever need something to replace the Batmobile, I'll give him a call."

"But-"

"I'm done with this conversation, Richard. Now go up to bed before I call Alfred down to get you." Batman snapped harshly. After a minute without reply, he assumed Robin had done as he was told. He sat down and let out an exasperated sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. Upon reopening his eyes Batman unsurprisingly saw a familiar pair of azure eyes.

"Why won't you admit that the Transformer is a superhero?" Robin remarked sternly, crossing his arms and perking his lips into a small pout.

"Richard I told you I'm not having this convers-"

"It's because you're jealous, isn't it?" Richard stated, eyes and mouth wide with shock. "It is! You're jealous of a robot!" Batman let out a frustrated puff of air as Robin began an entertaining dance around the Batcave, singing a made-up tune about his dad's envy. Eventually Robin's intricate path closed the short displacement between Batman and the door to the house, and the small boy hopped through the entrance. As the door closed behind him, he uttered approvingly, "You know Batman, you're right. No way is the Transformer a superhero." The door shut with a definitive click and Batman allowed a smirk to stretch across his usually stoic face.

"I knew you'd come around."


	2. Speedsters Cause All the Trouble

**AN: Hey guys! I'm super glad everybody is liking my mini-stories so far. Honestly I'm surprised I've gotten any views/reviews/favorites at all. I personally feel like each short gets a little better, so get ready for more awesome soup! (See that's funny because the title has "soup" in it and… heh… yea)**

"Now."

Robin sprinted forward in response to Batman's command, quickly approaching a large barrier in the Batcave's training room and jumped over it with a well executed front flip.

"Again."

He repeated the process over and over at his mentor's words, not letting his growing exhaustion show as each leap seemed to require more force. At the 17th 'Again.', Robin pushed forward with all the power he could muster. Five feet away from the wall he sprang upward and all but cleared the jump; but just when he thought he made it over, the toe of his boot caught on the concrete edge and his forward momentum sent him sprawling to the floor. Robin barely had time to register his mistake before twisting in the air and crash rolling to a stop. After a moment, the Boy Wonder sat up with a sigh and came face to face with a de-cowled Batman, whose expression was coated with disappointment and concern.

"You need to focus, Dick."

"I know Bruce, I'm sorry. I just-"

Robin was cut off as the Batcave's intruder alarm sounded; the computer repeating _unidentified, electromagnetic impulse detected_ over and over. The dynamic duo instantly stood on guard, looking with a keen eye for any out of place activity. Suddenly, a series of lightning bolts struck the middle of the cave with an ear splitting cacophony. Batman hauled his cape over himself and his ward as a shield against any flying debris. As quickly as it occurred, the lights faded, revealing a strange, human-sized orb in its place.

"Holy materialization, Batman."

The two vigilantes crept towards the orb, batarangs at hand. As they approached, a small hatch on the side of the object burst open, and a teenager roughly the size of Robin jumped out, arms spread and a goofy grin on his face.

"Tada!"

The caped crusaders looked on in shock as the stranger began to sprint around the Batcave at blinding speed.

"Whoah am I in the Batcave? How did I end up here? Aw man this is so cool it looks even cooler than it does in the history books look at all the cool stuff! There's the giant penny and the t-rex and the ooooh the Batmobile and it has wheels oooooh I want to drive it!"

Batman and Robin jerked their heads side to side in an attempt to track the speedy youth. Suddenly, the boy stopped in front of the two heroes.

"Hey you guys are Batman and Robin! What's up? I read all about you guys in history man you are the coolest! Batman you're not as tall as I expected I mean being Bruce Wayne the billionaire playboy philanthropist I'd think you'd be at least 6 feet tall ah well doesn't matter And Robin Dick Grayson the first sidekick leader of the Titans oh so sorry to hear about your breakup with Oracle by the way but dude how does it feel to be the ward of the richest man in Gotham City it must be awesome especially considering your tragic past I mean how hard was it to watch your parents fall to their dea-"

Batman clamped his hand over the kid's mouth, fixing a terrifying glare that made the boy quiver in his spandex suit.

"Who. Are. You?" Batman spat out slowly and venomously.

The intruder dashed to the right, away from Batman's gaze, and chirped merrily,

"I'm Bart Allen, and I'm from the future."

Robin's cerulean eyes widened to the brink. This boy was from the future? Was that even possible? Just loud enough for Batman to hear, the Boy Wonder murmured,

"Batman, he knows our identities. And his last name… could he be related to Barry? The Flash? It would make sense…"

The Dark Knight's eyes remained fixed on the trespasser.

"Call the Flash."

Five minutes later a red blob sped into the Batcave, followed by a smaller yellow blob named Kid Flash.

"The Flash here, at your service. What's up, Batsy?" The red clad speedster walked up to his masked ally.

"Fifteen minutes ago some foreign tech materialized in the cave. This boy" Batman gestured to the unidentified teen "crawled out of the machine, unharmed, and claims to be from the future. If what he says holds true, we need to find a way to rewire his… time machine, if you will, and send him back to where he came. With all he knows, he'll be a danger to everyone if he stays any longer."

"How much _does_ he know?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"_Everything."_

The Bat's cold stare indicated he was done with the conversation.

"Robin, you and Kid Flash keep an eye on the boy-"

"My name is Bart." The intruder answered impatiently.

"-you two keep an eye on… Bart… and make sure he doesn't get into any trouble. I expect both of you to be on your best behavior. No goofing off, am I clear?"

The two teenaged heroes nodded as their mentors walked away. Finally getting the chance to talk, Kid Flash rushed up to his best friend.

"Hey Di- I mean Robin, hi. How are you?" the young speedster let out a sheepish laugh at the near slip up of his friend's secret identity, becoming all too aware of the unfamiliar kid next to him.

"Aw don't sweat it, Wally, I already know the Boy Wonder's secret ID. And Batman's. And everyone's, for that matter." Bart replied nonchalantly.

Wally glanced over at Bart and got his first good look at the teen. His chestnut brown hair just swept above caramel eyes, and his well toned body was covered in a burgundy and white, spandex suit not unlike his own. If he didn't know any better, he would have guessed the boy was another superhero.

"Well, uh, Bart, you say you're from the future. Anything else I need to know?" Wally stared at the teen skeptically. "There's something really familiar about you."

"Of course there is, Wally! Or should I say, _second cousin."_

"Second cousin? What do you mean?"

"Weeeeeell let's see: Flash is my granddad and his daughter is my mom and my mom is your cousin which would make us second cousins. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Flash is you grandfather?! He doesn't even have a kid!"

"Not for long." Bart sang, "But it totally explains the genetic mutation that gave me my speedster abilities."

"What do you mean, 'speedster abilities'?"

"Watch this!"

Bart burst off in a blur around the room, the wind trailing behind him throwing papers and files into the air. After making 5 quick laps he skidded to halt in front of the other teens.

"See?"

"Dude!" Robin exclaimed, "He's as fast as you are!"

"Faster, actually." Bart replied, "According to the textbooks your top velocity by the time you retire is approximately the speed of sound. I hit 345 meters per second last week!"

Robin's high pitched cackle echoed through the room.

"Man, Wally, you're being upstaged by a kid who's not even born yet!"

"Am not! So he can run a little faster, who cares? I bet he can't phase through a wall."

"Oh can't I?" Bart raised an eyebrow at Wally and sped off again. He dashed towards the large, concrete barrier in the training room and ran right through it. Appearing again in front of Kid Flash, Bart crossed his arms and smirked.

"Beat that."

"Gladly." Before Wally could run off, Robin grabbed the back of his suit.

"KF you know you haven't mastered wall-phasing yet. You'll just give yourself another bloody nose."

"Don't worry, Rob, I've got this."

Before Robin could reply, Wally sprinted as fast as he could to the barrier. Once he was close enough, the yellow speedster vibrated his molecules even quicker in order to squeeze through the concrete mixture.

Two seconds later, Robin and Bart heard a loud _thud_ followed by a groan.

"Not again." KF walked over, nursing his now bloody nose and bruised ego.

Wally scowled as his best friend and newest rival cracked up at the sight. Finally fed up with being out played by his _not yet existing_ second cousin, he prepared to knock some sense into the both of them.

"Ahem."

The three boys whipped around to see The Flash and Batman standing there, arms crossed and irritated scowls.

"Robin, what exactly did I say when I told you to look after Bart." Batman spoke in a barely controlled voice.

"No goofing off…" his protégé mumbled.

"Exactly. Now you get to clean the Batcave for the next three weeks for disobeying orders."

"But it wasn't even me!"

"You were in charge, you take responsibility."

"Yes sir…"

"Good. Now go take Wally up to see Alfred. I think he may have a concussion from that collision with the wall."

Robin ushered a still bleeding Wally to the Batcave's med bay, muttering something about speedsters causing all the trouble. Batman turned back around to see a nervous Bart fidgeting in the presence of the two heroes.

"As far as Flash and I can tell, your time machine has nothing wrong with it mechanically. However, something on the entryway side of your path here is blocking its ability to return. Until we can find a solution, you are to stay with Flash."

Flash kneeled down and put a hand on his grandson's shoulder.

"You might be staying here for a while, Bart. If you don't mind, I'd like you to join me and Wally in the crime fighting business for the time being. You in?"

"Of course I'm in!"

"Great! But you're going to need a superhero persona. In the future heroes may not have secret identities, but here they're pretty much essential."

Bart thought for a moment, scrunching his face up in thought. A moment later he snapped his fingers and looked up at Flash with a wide grin.

"Just call me Impulse."


	3. Bat Guano is Gross

**I feel like I should make a specific time period between putting chapters up, as opposed to randomly submitting them... Does once a week sound good to you? I'll try to publish a new one every Monday. If for some reason I miss a day, please keep your pitch forks at bay (from what I've seen, the readers on this website are very violent), as I will surely publish it soon after. So, without further ado, let's get on with the story. This chapter features everyone's favorite ring-wearing hero. Enjoy!**

Heavy eyes cracked open to an unfamiliar sight.

"Ugh… Where am I?" The man sat up with some difficulty, clutching his head with one hand as he became all too aware of the throbbing pain in his skull. As the haze around his brain began to lift, the man's trained mind began a rehearsed check list.

_I am Hal Jordan: the first of Earth's three Green Lanterns from the Intergalactic Green Lantern Corporation; a founding member of the Justice League. Alrighty, memory is in check. Now, what's the situation? I feel fine, except for this stupid headache. There doesn't seem to be anybody around, no strange torture devices, no doomsday machine… looks like we're good here. _

"Well, I guess I'll be on my way then-"Hal started to stand up off the bed, but was forced back down when another wave of pain washed through his head.

_Wait a second, what am I doing on a bed? Ugh I wish I could remember what happened… last thing I remember I was on patrol and now… _

He squeezed his eyes shut with a grimace.

_It would be a whole lot easier to think without this migraine._

After a moment, Hal very slowly let his eyes reopen. Once his eyes focused, he blinked a few times as he realized he was face to face with a familiar, black and white domino mask.

"Hey, Hal! Need an aspirin?"

Hal groaned as he eyed the young superhero, who was holding two small, white pills out in front of him with a mischievous grin.

"Robin, what is going on? Where the heck am I?"

"You're in the Batcave, couldn't you tell?"

Quickly glancing around, Hal noticed the obvious bat clan theme – dark walls, giant memorabilia from past fights, the occasional drop of bat guano falling from the ceiling…

_Ew._

"And how, exactly, did I end up in the Batcave?

"I kidnapped you. Well, not exactly _kidnapped, _but I needed to ask you a favor, so while you were out patrolling I hit you with some knock out gas and dragged you over here." Hal could practically feel Robin's innocent gaze through the mask.

"And you couldn't have just asked me the favor without knocking me out?"

"I was afraid you would say no."

Hal sighed. _This kid… _

"Well what's the favor, Robin?"

"Batman wants me to try and figure out the workings of some alien technology. Since he won't let me mess with any of the stuff we've confiscated from enemies, I figured the next best thing would be a Green Lantern power ring. And what better Green Lantern to help me experiment than you, right Hal?"

"Listen, kid, I'd love to help, but I have more important things to do than assist you with some kiddie project." Hal stood up and walked past the Boy Wonder, searching around for an exit from the cave. As he was walking, the Green Lantern heard a smug voice come from behind.

"Fine. I guess I'll have to tell Batman that you're the reason why I can't finish my experiment, and that you're the one who wrecked the Batmobile."

Hal stopped in his tracks. The little punk was going to frame him for wrecking the Bat's car. And no way did he want to face the wrath of an angry, car-less Batman…

"Fine… I'll do it."

The two heroes stood in a large, open area of the Batcave, a few random items dispersed around them. After a moment the Green Lantern turned to the younger, who was busy scribbling some notes on a clipboard.

"So…" Hal began. "What are you trying to find out about my ring?"

Without glancing up, Robin replied, "In order to begin more experiments, I need to get a feel for the power of your power ring. I also want to see if I can figure out its efficiency."

"And how exactly are you going to do that?"

"Simple, you are going to use your power ring to perform some rudimentary tasks – moving a block, breaking some stuff, the works – and I am going to record how much energy was exerted by the ring to perform the task and how much work was actually done. Then from there a simple work to energy ratio gives me an approximate idea of how effective the ring actually is."

Robin sighed at the blank look he got from Hal.

"Look, just do what I tell you, and I'll take care of the rest."

"Whatever you say, kid. But this better not take too long, I have places to be."

"Yea yea, whatever. Okay, first things first, I want you to move that block," Robin gestured to a large, concrete wall to their left, "over to that little crevice." He redirected his index finger to an indent in the wall just big enough for the barrier to fit.

"Whatever you say, Boy Wonder." Hal proceeded to activate his power ring, a luminescent, green light emitting from the top while he pointed it at the barrier. A beam of the green light made its way to the wall, encompassing it entirely as it slowly began to lift off the ground. Hal winced at the sudden weight. _How heavy is this thing, two tons? _But, ever so slowly, he dragged the barrier over to its designated spot, and not-so-gracefully dropped it on the ground. Panting slightly from the effort, Hal turned his gaze to Robin while he stared at a strange, speedometer-like contraption and wrote down some nonsense.

"What are you doing now?"

"Calculating the kinetic energy of the block while you were moving it."

Robin was met with another clueless glance.

"Math."

"Right… So am I done here?"

"Not quite. I still have one more thing for you to do. Follow me." Without waiting for a response Robin walked towards another part of the Batcave. Following him, Hal entered a room taken up almost completely by a pool of water. In the pool, Batman's high tech submarine sat, slightly bobbing up and down from the waves of the connecting ocean.

"What are we doing here?"

"There's a big spring that's used to launch the Bat Sub through the water when we need. Lucky for us, the spring hasn't been reset since the last time we launched it, so you're going to reset the spring so it has the necessary amount of elastic potential energy to launch the sub, and I'll do more math stuff that you don't understand."

"How does a spring make the sub move, anyway?"

"It's a basic inelastic collision between the spring and the sub! Come on, Hal, did you ever even take a physics class?"

"Look kid, I am a guardian of outer space. I have much more important things to worry about than some stupid science."

"Ugh, whatever. Just… use your fancy light and move the spring." Robin groaned while he walked to the edge of the pool, speedometer contraption in hand. Hal grudgingly made his way in front of the spring, using his will power to release the light. The Green Lantern focused his energy on the metal, smirking with satisfaction as it recoiled further and further. A moment later, the spring was coiled as far as Hal could force it, and Robin stood up from his crouched position.

"That's good, I got the data."

"Great. So what did you find out?"

"Well-" Robin paused when he heard the elevator to the Batcave being activated. Bruce must have just gotten home, which means Batman would be down in the cave any second. And Batman had a strict rule about outsiders in the Batcave…

"I'll, uh, tell you later. But you need to go. Now." Robin shoved the green clad hero out of the room and through the Batcave, cursing quietly under his breath when he heard footsteps growing increasingly louder.

"Wait, why can't you just tell me now? Is Batman here? I want to ask him a few questions about this experiment of yours."

"No time for that, Batman's busy. Besides, didn't you say you had more important things to do than be here?"

"Well yea, sort of, but-" Before Hal could finish, Robin pushed him out of a secret back entrance to the cave, slamming the door shut before the man could react. Sighing in relief, Robin turned around just in time to see his mentor make his way towards him.

"Hey, Bruce, how was work?"

"Fine. Did you finish all the chores I asked you to do?"

"Yup, every single one."

"That includes moving the barrier from your training the other day AND resetting the Bat Sub's spring?"

"Of course, Bruce, you know me: Always following your orders."

"Right... What is that?" Bruce asked, nodding to the scribbled math in his ward's hand.

"Oh this? Just some practice problems for school. Nothing important." Richard crumpled up the pieces of paper and tossed them into a nearby trashcan.

"Well, why don't you go upstairs now? I think Alfred is almost done making dinner."

"Sure thing, Bruce." Dick started making his way towards the elevator.

"Oh, by the way." The young hero started. "Hal stopped by about an hour ago. He wanted to tell you something about the Batmobile. Something about an 'elastic collision gone wrong'?" Dick continued his way up to the manor, a hidden smirk making its way to his face. Meanwhile, Batman rushed to the garage that held his precious car, eyes widening when he saw its wrecked condition. The Dark Knight let out a feral growl when, upon closer inspection, he found a single strand of short, sandy blonde hair on the shattered window – a perfect match of Earth's founding Green Lantern.

"Hal…"

**I just love when Robin trolls people. Granted, Batman is pretty untroll-able, so he'll probably figure out it was Robin anyway, but not before showing Hal who's boss. I hope you all enjoyed this week's story! I have 2 more chapters in my inventory to put up, and so long as my teacher doesn't assign any more of these assignments (for those of you that didn't catch it, these mini-fics are my physics homework assignments) that'll be all that gets published. If you want me to write more short stories for this FanFic anyway, please review and tell me so!  
~The Vernaculist**


	4. Queen Mera Beckons

**Greetings fellow readers and writers! I would just like to say that I'm very proud of myself for posting my next chapter on the day I said I would. I would also like to say that after this chapter, I only have one more written to post. If you want me to write more in addition to the ones I did for homework, please review and tell me so! I'm honestly not too happy with this chapter, but I hope you all enjoy some more Batman and Robin antics! **

Arthur paddled lazily around the outskirts of Atlantis, waving occasionally when he passed by a sentry or civilian. It was the first day in months that he didn't have any kingly obligations or duties as Aquaman, and he enjoyed being able to drift along the current with no responsibilities.

"King Orin!" Arthur glanced over to see Tula, his head pupil at the Atlantis Conservatory of Magic and secretary in training, rushing his way. "Good morning, sir. I don't mean to bug you on your day off, but Professor Ahmi has some paperwork that she wants you to look at, and Mera told me to tell you that the guard in the Northern quadrant wanted to discuss some new dynamics and-"Tula, enough." He chuckled. "Tell Ahmi and Mera that I will handle everything tomorrow, but today is my day off, and I wish to spend it relaxing. As for the Northern quadrant, I trust you can handle it?"

"O-of course, King Orin. I am sorry to bug you. I suppose I'll see you tomorrow, then?" with a nod from her elder Tula glided off, leaving Orin to himself again.

_That's right. No guards to deal with, no protégés to train, no civilians to save, and no crazy bats to please. Today it's just me, myself, and-_

The man mentally groaned as his communicator went off with a high pitched beeping. After a moment of consideration he reluctantly held the com to his ear and answered, "Aquaman."

"Batman." The unmistakable, monotone voice of Gotham's hero echoed through his earpiece. "Your assistance is needed in Gotham. Be at the Batcave in 15 minutes."

This time Arthur groaned loudly into the speaker. "Bats you know this is my day off. Can't you get somebody else to do it? I'm sure Flash would be more than happy to-"

"Flash is in Central City on his own assignment. Besides, we need your expertise for this mission."

"Fine," he sighed after a moment, "I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"Good. Batman out."

With another sigh Aquaman swam to the Batcave's coordinates, wondering what on Earth the Bat would need his help with.

_So much for my day off…_

15 minutes later Aquaman was wading in a very large, bat-shaped pool. Staring down at him was the Dark Knight himself, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

"Good morning, Batman. I trust you're having a better day than I am." At the Caped Crusader's glare the semi-aquatic hero made his way to the edge of the pool and hoisted himself out of the water. "Well I'm here. What is it you need my help with?"

"Robin and I are going on a deep undercover mission to obtain information on Lex Luthor's new beach side resort here in Gotham. We suspect he may be scheming against Wayne Enterprises. For the purpose of this mission, Robin and I both need to appear as guests at the resort."

"And where do I come into this?"

"You are going to teach Robin how to surf."

"What?! Batman this is ridiculous. Of all the days you could ask me to do something so trivial-"

"The mission" Batman interrupted sharply "is never trivial." Aquaman winced at the Batglare sent in his direction. After a moment of consideration, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Alright. I will do it. So where is Robin, anyway?"

"GERONIMOOOOO!" Batman and Aquaman both whipped around to see Robin swinging on his grappling hook like a pendulum over the water before letting go and diving into the pool with an impressive display of acrobatics. Once he was done the sopping Boy Wonder paddled to the edge of the pool, where he looked up at the older heroes expectantly.

"Robin" Batman started "Aquaman has agreed to teach you how to surf. I assume you will be on your best behavior?"

"Of course, Bats! How could I ever live with myself if I disrespected the _King of Atlantis?_"

Aquaman suppressed an eye roll and clapped his hands together. "Well then, let's get started."

As Aquaman and Robin paddled out to the middle of the pool on their respective surfboards (The Batcave has EVERYTHING), Batman walked over to a large switch. When he pressed it, a soft whirring was heard as a machine came to life.

"On the East side of the pool is a large spring that, when activated, will push a connected structure back and forth through the water and produce artificial waves for you both to use. From here I can change the speed and size of the waves." On cue, the water started to rise and fall as small waves glided over the surface. The waves slowly picked up in size, and when Aquaman was pleased with the size he began.

"Alright, Robin, the main thing you want to remember when surfing is to keep your surfboard moving longitudinal to the movement of the waves. You want to make sure you move parallel to the movement of the water. The second your board starts to angle off, you will fall. Understand?"

"Got it." Before Aquaman could get another word in Robin swam towards an oncoming wave. He swiftly hopped to his feet and, like the acrobat he is, started to climb up the crest of the wave with perfect balance. After a moment of success, a second wave moving transverse to the original collided with the first, sending Robin off his board and into the water with a large splash. Aquaman pushed himself over to the sputtering hero and helped the boy back onto his surfboard.

"Well that went well." Robin replied sarcastically.

"You had the right idea. What you failed to remember, however, is that there is more than one path of waves being created. Each one moves at a different frequency, so you must be prepared for when waves cross each other."

"So… that means when two waves meet I have to accommodate for their destructive interference, and re- angle my board in the appropriate direction?" Aquaman smiled slightly. _Smart boy. _

"Yes, exactly. Now why don't you try again?" With a nod Robin again paddled out to the turbulent water. _Alright_. Robin thought to himself. _This is just like physics. Each waves' period lasts approximately 3 seconds, which gives me about 2 seconds to climb the wave. When the second wave hits, the resultant moves off about 30 degrees to the left. As long as I move my board at the time of the collision I should be good to go. _The Boy Wonder made it to the middle of the pool. He watched intently as a fresh wave sailed closer.

"You can do this." He muttered to himself. "You're Robin, the boy who can do anything. You can handle some water no sweat." The wave was coming to its full height now, and Robin paddled frantically to keep up. Reaching the top, he stood up on the surfboard with ease, arms spread out to keep his balance and eyes glued forward. He flew on top of the wave, and when the second wave neared he took a deep breath.

"Just a little to the left…" in one swift motion the young hero made the turn, staying upright and dry while he continued on the wave's path. "Perfect." He let a large grin come to his face, and a cackle escaped his lips.

"Hey Batman!" the boy shouted. "This is pretty easy! You should come and try it- whoah!" Suddenly Robin flew forward, flapping his arms wildly as he soared through the air. Aquaman and Batman both visibly winced when he hit the water with an echoing smack.

"Robin!"

After 10 seconds Robin still hadn't surfaced, and Aquaman swam as fast as he could to where the boy crashed. Just when he neared the surfboard bobbing in the water, the Boy Wonder sprung out to the surface next to him, an even bigger smile than before plastered on his face. "That was awesome!" He shouted. "Let's go again. Hey Bats, pump up the amplitude!"

Two hours later Aquaman and Robin were sitting on the side of the Batpool's wing, catching their breath. As it turns out Aquaman was rusty after not surfing for almost 3 years, and Robin – always a fast learner – had quickly surpassed his teacher. While they sat in comfortable silence, Aquaman thought to himself:

_Maybe today wasn't as bad as it could have been. Robin was unusually well behaved, and he definitely makes for a good time. Still, I'd like to spend at least some of my off day just relaxing._

Aquaman stood up from the floor and stretched out his stiff limbs. "Well, Robin, this was more entertaining than I had feared. Thank you for a good time. However, I do believe I'll be going now. Mera is probably wondering where I am."

Robin stood up after the elder hero and shook his hand. "Sure thing, Aquaman. And thanks for teaching me. It'll definitely come in handy tomorrow." The two started walking towards the Batcave's main, land-based exit.

"Yes, Batman was mentioning something about that… So tell me more about this undercover mission you two are going on. I was not aware that Lex Luthor had opened up a beach resort." Robin stopped walking, and glanced up at the hero with a confused expression on his face.

"Undercover mission?"

"Batman told me the reason you needed to learn how to surf was to maintain cover for an undercover mission at some beach resort." The Boy Wonder's confused look turned into a smirk. _Batman… _As they reached the exit and Aquaman started to leave, Robin turned around to walk away. As the two split ways the younger called over his shoulder.

"Oh no, we're not going on any mission tomorrow. In fact, we're taking the day off to go to the beach and relax. After all, everybody deserves a break once and a while."

Before Aquaman could reply the door to the Batcave slammed shut, and the sea faring man was left walking home in simmering frustration.

**Guess we know who Robin got his trolling habits from. I mean, let's be real - Batman can pull some pretty funny stunts, especially when they benefit himself. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Remember, leave a comment telling me whether or not you want me to continue these one-shots. Also, I've been brain storming a couple action/adventure stories as well, so stay posted for those!**

**~The Vernaculist**


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